When I see people, I see a Kingdom. I see my past. I see what I fought for all my life so that others can live freely as they do now. Out of Saxon rule, a people who wished to own us and our lands.
I see the horrors of what I had done to do what was asked of me. War after War, person after person. I see those same horrors in what wasn't asked of me, and when I see women - I see the countless times I was used by them. As a Knight. As a Man.
I never just see people or their demeanor. I see my past in them, or of a future that has yet to come.
Some call them nightmares, it simply is what it is for me.
[ Irene opens her eyes and looks back over at the fireplace, then down at her own lantern. The pink flame burns brightly - her will, her strength, her courage, her life. And while she holds much pride for it, she's aware of the fear is strikes in innocent people who believe their authority to be misused, and too great. A place of comfort for her has become endless fear for others.
I understand.
And she does. She's not happy about it, but it's not like she's mad at Lancelot for having trauma. That would be absurd.
Would it help you at all if you knew a little more about me? It would be nice if, maybe someday, you saw me less as "some woman" and more as... "Irene". ]
[ Irene hears him sigh not out of annoyance or disappointment, more because he is reminded of another like her. Who was adamant about establishing bonds with every Servant regardless of what their past contained. It's because of Ritsuka's adamant and geninue caring demeanour, that Lancelot will give way in this moment. And allow at least this much to be said:
I already see you as a Leader, the Leader. Whatever traumas that are held within Elsword or his lot that he is cast here with - don't mark me as the kind of people who could lead, but you? Stalwart and earnest in how she feels. You have done nothing but make the most sense in how you speak and hold your ground.
I may not be able to ever stand close to you because you are a woman, but I am not so dumb or blind to not see how capable you are as a person.
That is why, it had been between you, Fel, Toge, or Elsword that I had interest in contracting with. Toge is too young, and Fel has seen too much. Elsword... Deals with enough... But you? I felt as if, you not only would make the most sense, but also that, I felt I could trust in you. Trust that you would never make me do something I do not want to do. ]
[ How funny. To be considered a leader when she’s only just started having teams to lead back in Rhodes Island. It would’ve been decades within the Inquisition before she became a High Inquisitor and had teams of her own and yet, lately, she’s had so many opportunities, and has had so many look up to her as well. It fills her with a little bit of pride, but it only slightly. The concern she feels about making mistakes quells any chances of this boosting her ego.
In that case, I appreciate it. I hope that this means you’ll be able to talk to me about anything personally going forward as well. ]
[ Sure, he says, though implies otherwise and is quick to jump into more 'important' matters, Since we are talking, I want to inform you of my interest in exploring more outside the Grove. I wish to take Toge, and enter into it with the two of us. Keeping you as a line of contact within the Grove. I have recently acquired glasses that will allow Toge and myself to peer into open paths. ]
[ … I am slightly against you going, if just because the forest is very fresh with us at the moment. I believe the New Moon also provided us with safer passage as well, but… I won’t stop you. Just be sure to keep me updated. ]
[ Waiting around for the enemy to strike and take advantage of us, is no way to live.
From what I can tell too, it has a way of changing the game in monthly increments.... Though... Now that you mention the moon... Maybe it has to deal with the moon's waxing and waning instead...
Either way - I haven't a clue, and that is a problem.
I exist as a tool, there's no sense in someone like me sitting around.
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no subject
When I see people, I see a Kingdom. I see my past. I see what I fought for all my life so that others can live freely as they do now. Out of Saxon rule, a people who wished to own us and our lands.
I see the horrors of what I had done to do what was asked of me. War after War, person after person. I see those same horrors in what wasn't asked of me, and when I see women - I see the countless times I was used by them. As a Knight. As a Man.
I never just see people or their demeanor. I see my past in them, or of a future that has yet to come.
Some call them nightmares, it simply is what it is for me.
That is his answer. ]
no subject
I understand.
And she does. She's not happy about it, but it's not like she's mad at Lancelot for having trauma. That would be absurd.
Would it help you at all if you knew a little more about me? It would be nice if, maybe someday, you saw me less as "some woman" and more as... "Irene". ]
no subject
I already see you as a Leader, the Leader. Whatever traumas that are held within Elsword or his lot that he is cast here with - don't mark me as the kind of people who could lead, but you? Stalwart and earnest in how she feels. You have done nothing but make the most sense in how you speak and hold your ground.
I may not be able to ever stand close to you because you are a woman, but I am not so dumb or blind to not see how capable you are as a person.
That is why, it had been between you, Fel, Toge, or Elsword that I had interest in contracting with. Toge is too young, and Fel has seen too much. Elsword... Deals with enough... But you? I felt as if, you not only would make the most sense, but also that, I felt I could trust in you. Trust that you would never make me do something I do not want to do. ]
no subject
In that case, I appreciate it. I hope that this means you’ll be able to talk to me about anything personally going forward as well. ]
no subject
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From what I can tell too, it has a way of changing the game in monthly increments.... Though... Now that you mention the moon... Maybe it has to deal with the moon's waxing and waning instead...
Either way - I haven't a clue, and that is a problem.
I exist as a tool, there's no sense in someone like me sitting around.
I'll inform you, when next we move. ]
no subject
Please be safe. ]